Age difference in relationships

While attending a baseball game the other night, My focus shifted from the game to a couple sitting in front of me. At first glance, I assumed it was a father and his daughter. The woman was a young, stunningly attractive blonde. I am by no means a good judge at guessing people’s ages, but I figured she was about 25 years old. The man looked to be in his late 50’s. He has a receding hairline and was slightly overweight. I suddenly realized that this was no father, daughter thing going on when the man put his arm around her and they started to cuddle, then they exchanged a few small kisses. My emotions quickly changed from astonishment to pure jealously after seeing that!

It is not uncommon to see huge age gaps in relationships. You see it all the time in Hollywood. Some actor will announce that he marrying a woman who is 20-30 years younger. Even common day folks tend to rob the cradle. I know a 54-year-old guy who recently got engaged to a 27-year-old. The writer of this blog had a relationship with a much younger woman just a few years ago. To be honest with you, I never ever thought of the age difference. She acted much older than her age and I act much younger, so age was not really an issue.

There is kind of an unwritten rule in our society that people should date others who are within 10 years max of their age. I can certainly understand why people think this way. Take for example a young 25-year-old single woman who is actively dating and looking for a life time partner. Ideally, she would probably be looking for some guy who is around her age and relatively at the same stage in life. By that I mean no kids, never been married and just starting a career. If she expanded her search to middle-aged men, she would run into guys with a ton of baggage such as an ex-wife to deal with, kids and so on. Not only that but suppose she found an older guy, say about 20 years older and they fell in love and got married. Flash ahead about 25 years. She runs the risk of being a widow at a very early age. People often do not think about this when they date older people. They only think about the present, not the future. And what about kids?, If you are that many years apart, chances are the older person in the relationship is not really willing to have more children. Not always, but this is an issue that has to be discussed and thought of.

I find it interesting that men are usually the ones robbing the cradle, not the other way around. Very seldom do you see some 27-year-old guy marrying a 54-year-old woman. Why is this? I think a lot of younger women are attracted to an older man’s sensitivity and manners. Men on the other hand are attracted to physical beauty that a younger woman can bring. That combination helps produce those unlikely couples such the one at the baseball game. I am sure that money plays a huge factor too. A guy’s bank account can make him a thousand times more attractive!!

I tend to date women who are younger than me for a number of reasons. First of all, I am very unique for my age, I have never been married and have no children. I just do not feel comfortable dating a woman who was previously married for 20 years and has several kids. Heavy baggage including emotional baggage from a previous relationship is a huge turnoff for me. The young woman who I dated a few years ago did not have any of those problems and that was very appealing to me. Admittedly, I am like most guys who view a women’s appearance as important. Far too many women my age fail to take of their health and body. They put on way too much weight and stop being active. It is often forgotten that a huge key for looking younger is staying active and fit. Finally, I think I can speak for a lot of people both men and women. When you are dating someone much younger, you feel younger yourself.

Having said those things, most older woman are far more sensitive and appreciative than younger ones. Sure they might not have the same beauty as they did at 25, but what they lose on the outside, they gain on the inside. Unfortunately, some guys neglect this with older women who could make them much happier. Instead they would rather date a younger women who uses them.

The whole idea of dating someone near your age is just some meaningless unwritten society rule. There are many couples who are many years apart in age but very happy in their relationships. My uncle married a woman 15 years older than him and they have been happily married for nearly 40 years. Sure there are many risks involved, but why should someone limit themselves to a certain age range? Branching out might just bring you to that someone special and lifetime happiness.

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