The joy of being single

Every once in a while, I get asked about my relationship status from family members, relatives, co-workers or buddies of mine. When I explain to them that I am single, no girlfriend and not married, I get a couple of reactions.” Well you are a smart man, Mark”, stay single is one response and the other is “Are you not lonely and yearning for someone special” Typically, the second response is more common. It is like people are feeling sorry for me after learning my status. They seem to think that I am missing out on a very enjoyable piece of life. Perhaps they are right, but I think that is very debatable.

I personally think that way too many people assume that getting married will make their lives so much happier. Many young adults see their friends getting married for the first time and they want the same thing. It is a dream of any young person to find that special person who they can raise a family and spend the rest of their lives with. But how many marriages end up that way? The divorce rate in this country is roughly 50 percent and many couples stay together for reasons totally unrelated to love. Why would anyone want to enter into a contract with those type of odds?

The internet and many media sites like radio and television like to sell dating sites as a great way to meet that “knight in shining armor”. I heard a radio commercial the other day talking about how bad it must be to be single and sitting at home on the weekends, really? These commercials seem to indict single people of a crime for being single. All they really are doing is creating a false perception of what dating is really like. It is nowhere even close to what they make it out to be. The selection of singles on many of sites are not as good as you are lead to believe. Many members have a ton of baggage issues to deal with. Being someone without any kids and never been married, do I want to deal with someone who has several kids and an ex still involved in her life? My life is way too enjoyable to get involved in that type of situation.

Every single person really needs to understand that their lives should not be defined on whether they end up getting happily married or not. If you need to have a man or woman in your life at all times, that is just a sign of insecurity. Think about the many freedoms you have with being single. I love the fact that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and I don’t have to answer to anybody. If I want to do play golf on Saturday morning, I don’t have to negotiate with my wife for a half hour! I can take a trip somewhere without any hassles or watch whatever I want on television.

I also love having a calm peace of mind. There is nothing worse than going through a break up with someone. It affects every part of your life. Do you really want to experience that kind of pain in your life? Some of the worst mistakes that people make are getting involved with someone who is absolutely NOT right for them. They feel lonely and get involved with the wrong person. Some of my worst mistakes in my life have been with women. During my college days, I broke up with someone and that affected me for a few years; I felt extremely lonely inside and wound up dating someone who was totally not right for me. Instead of accepting my singleness, I let my loneliness get the best of me and that mistake could have affected me for the rest of my life.

Maybe some day, that special woman will come into my life when I least expect it. But if not, I am perfectly content with my life. I am by no means a desperate single. Sure I miss the companionship that a good relationship can bring. It certainly makes life so much more enjoyable when you are in love with someone. But being single has given me opportunities in my life that I would not have had if I had gotten married. I enjoy the freedoms and peace of mind that being single brings. A good woman will only add more happiness to my life, sort of like a cherry on top of a sundae. It is certainly not a crime to be single. You might be surprised at how happy your life becomes.



2 thoughts on “The joy of being single

  1. You know, Mark, I have met so many people who are in a relationship but still feel and are lonely! Relationship does not guarantee happiness not freedom from loneliness. Being single has its advantages just as being in a relationship and if one defines ones worth by whether they live with someone in a relationship or not they will find that happiness will elude them sooner or later. The best premise for both relationship and single life is to feel good about oneself, define one self through oneself and not others đŸ˜€

  2. Very well said, Ina! I know several people as well who are very lonely and yet married or involved in a relationship. Some of them are the most miserable people in the world. Life is way too short to be unhappy like that. I would rather be lonely and single than stuck in a bad relationship.

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